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The Parties' Stance on the Arts: the Monster Raving Loony Party
If you were a monstrously raving loony, you might think the following consitutes an Arts policy:
- The Mayor of London stirred up the nation by suggesting that we replace statues in more prominent locations with better known figures. As Screaming Lord Sutch was the longest serving party leader in British political history, we propose that he take pride of place atop a new Sutch's Column in the center of Trafalgar Square. To compliment this we also suggest the square be renamed Official Monster Raving Loony Square.
- We believe that a Monty Python Ministry of Silly Walks should be put in place. There will, of course, be a uniform which comprises of bowler hat, black suit, white shirt, black tie, shiny black shoes and a black umbrella that never gets used. Oh and don't forget the black briefcase.
- We'll replace the current national anthem with Do the Funky Gibbon by the Goodies. This is a more lively anthem than our current one.
- The Loonies plan to hire Japanese origami experts to fold the millenium
dome roof into the shape of an elephant to reflect this amazing national
phenomena being a white elephant. If we're really lucky we could even
sell it to an American city in Arizona, where it can be rebuilt alongside
the Colorado River under the expectation that it's really the Millenium
Wheel lying on its side.
- Hat wearing will be encouraged by abolishing VAT on headwear. This will also help revive the UK's ailing millinery industry. It will be illegal for bald people not to wear a hat in public. This will prevent accidents caused by sunlight reflecting into the eyes of unsuspecting aircraft pilots. This idea will also be extended into the Houses of Parliament. The speaker in The Commons will have the power to make unruly MPs stand in the corner for ten minutes, wearing a pointy hat with a big 'D' on it.
The Conservative Party
The Green Party
The Labour Party
The Liberal Party
The Liberal Democratic Party
The Monster Raving Loony Party
A brief introduction to the British political
scene
Articles Indices:
2001
2000
1999
1998
1997
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