The Wife of Bath Based on the Prologue to the Wife of Bath's Tale by Geoffrey Chaucer Written by Peter D. Lathan 62 Sandringham Road Roker Sunderland SR6 9QZ United Kingdom Tel.: 0191 548 7482 E-mail: plays@schoolshows.demon.co.uk *************************************************************************** Production Notes This was originally written as part of a compilation play entitled Luv! It is based upon the Prologue to the Wife of Bath's Tale (not the section in the General Prologue which is told by Chaucer) in which Dame Alison, the Wife of Bath, tells about her love life - a much more interesting story than the tale she actually does tell later! There are only two characters, and a few extraa: Dame Alison herself (for the actress who plays her, this is quite a tour de force, for she is speaking for most of the ten or so minutes the play lasts!), Jenkin, who became her fifth husband, the Priest (who has one line), and the pall-bearers who say nothing. There's got to be plenty of action. Alison is not just talking to the audience, she is acting out what happened. Play Alison as a very sexy lady, but she is also very cunning and clever, and knows exactly how to manipulate men. In the first part, before the marriage, Jenkin should be played as being really rather dumb. He doesn't really know what's going on! But by the second half, of course, he knows - and, by God, he's going to get his revenge. He loses, of course, but when you have to deal with a woman like Dame Alison, you don't stand a chance! You can do this in costume, or in modern dress; with tons of realistic scenery, or on a bare stage: it doesn't matter. It's the words and the action which make this work: the setting is totally irrelevant. ****************************************************************************** (Alison, the WIFE OF BATH is centre stage. She moves down as she talks to the audience. Jenkin, her lover, is also left on-stage, standing at the back.) WIFE Now I'll tell you about my fifth husband, God rest his soul! Of all my husbands, he was the most cruel to me - I'll carry the bruises he gave me to my dying day! But in bed........well! You know, he could break every bone in my body and still make me love him!. I swear I loved him the best 'cos he treated me the worst! Actually, we women are a bit funny like that: if there's something we can't have, we want it - and we'll do anything we can to get it. But - if you try to force something onto us, we'll refuse. Anyway, I married my fifth for love, not money. That was the first mistake! He was a student at Oxford and at that time he was lodging with my best friend Alison. We were very close, me and Alison. She knew everything - and I mean everything! - about me: we had no secrets from each other. Now one Lent, Jenkin - that's the student - and Alison and me went for a walk in the woods. You see, my husband - that's my fourth - was away in London at the time, on business, so I could.well, enjoy myself. Well, he wouldn't want me to be miserable in his absence, would he? Anyway, as I was saying, we were walking in the woods. Well, why not? After all, you never know what's going to happen to you, do you? That's true, isn't it? And if something happens, then it's meant to happen. You can't deny that. So......since you don't know what's going to happen, and you don't know where either, then you've got to put yourself about a bit to make sure you're in the right place at the right time so that what's supposed to happen happens and you don't miss it. Right? So I was out all the time. Anything that was going on, I was there. And I had this gorgeous red dress. It was sort of....well, low here and.....high here and.....well, it was just.....oo! I tell you, I wore that dress all the time! Well anyway. Jenkin and I had a lovely time. We talked; we walked; we flirted a bit. And then.......... (She grabs Jenkin & embraces him passionately. He grunts.) Oh Jenkin.........Jenkin........oh........I know I'm a married woman.........but if I were a widow...........oh Jenkin........you and me..........oh! (To audience) You see, you've got to be prepared for anything in this life. You don't know when tragedy might strike. So I've always had someone else lined up - just in case. And when you've got my money - I've always had rich husbands - you're not alone for very long. (To Jenkin) Oh Jenkin.....Jenkin......oh......you have.....you have enchanted me! You've woven a magic spell around me........ (To audience) Girls, that's a trick my dear old mother taught me. Always let a man think his manliness has overwhelmed you. It never fails! (To Jenkin) I dreamed about you all last night. All night! I dreamed.......oh Jenkin! I dreamed that I was lying in bed, and you......(Lecherous smile on Jenkin's face) ...and you....(Bigger!)....you....killed me! The bed was covered in blood! (Protestations from Jenkin) No, no. Don't worry about it. You see, blood symbolises gold. (Jenkin smiles, nods, then looks puzzled) (To audience again) Well, that was a bit of a fib really. I didn't dream that at all. To be honest, I didn't dream about him at all. Well, to tell the truth, I didn't actually dream. But, as my old mother always said, string 'em along! string 'em along! Then (Pause) my fourth husband died. (The body is brought on, preceded by a priest.) (She puts on a veil and sobs a moment. Looks at Jenkin) Oo! hasn't he got a lovely pair of legs? And he's going to be all mine! He's only twenty as well! Well, what's a mere twenty years difference? I mean, I haven't lost my looks, have I? And I'm all woman! (Another couple of sobs, then the body is carried off, the priest remaining. She grabs Jenkin and drags him to the priest) PRIEST ( Mumbles, then..) I now pronounce you man and wife. (She drags Jenkin off with a triumphant lecherous scream which turns to a groan of pain as they go behind the stage. A moment later they re-enter, Jenkin first carrying a huge book entitled "WICKED WIVES". He sits; she stands, looking furious. Pause.) WIFE He's always reading that book! And he never stops complaining just because I go out a bit! And to think I turned all my money over to him! "You can't do this! You can't do that!" That's all I get all the time! He keeps telling me about these stupid Romans who divorced their wives for silly things like going to the door without a hat on! JENKIN (Reading aloud) A man who allows his wife out alone deserves to hang on the gallows. WIFE Who wrote that book anyway? A man! I'll tell you this, if women wrote books they'd be able to fill up a whole library about the wickedness of men! JENKIN Eve was the first. Look how her wickedness brought wretchedness to mankind and led to the death of Christ himself. Look how Samson lost his strength because of his wicked lover. Look how Hercules' wife destroyed him. Look how Clytaemnestra killed Agamemnon, her busband. It is better to live with a wild lion or a foul dragon than with a nagging woman. It is better to live in the attic alone than in the best room with a bad-tempered woman. Women are contrary and hate what their husbands love. A woman puts off her shame when she takes off her clothes. A beautiful but impure woman is like a gold ring in a sow's nose. (Throughout this speech she has been getting more and more angry. She grabs the book, rips out some pages and hits him across the face. He falls back, then stands up and knocks her flat.) WIFE You've killed me! I'm dead! (Big production number: groans, cries etc.) JENKIN Oh Alison, Alison, I'm sorry! I didn't mean it! Don't die! I'll never hit you again! Honest! Forgive me! Forgive me! WIFE (Sits up and hits him) That's it! My revenge! Now I can die happy! (Collapses again: plays dead.) JENKIN Alison, Alison, forgive me! Don't die! Don't die! You can do everything you want. Don't die! You can go out when you want to. Please don't die. You take charge, take charge of everything. The money....the land.....everything. Don't die! I'll be quiet! I'll not speak again unless you let me! But don't die, Alison. Please. Do whatever you want for the rest of your life. Don't, please don't die! Alison (Pause) I'll burn the book! (She flings her arms around him and drags him down to the floor - passionate clinch - then she turns to the audience.) WIFE And that, girls, is my recipe for a happy marriage. ******************************************************************************* Plays by Peter D. Lathan Copyright notice The plays in this download area or on diskette are all copyright Peter D. Lathan. They may be printed out, copied onto a diskette or onto a hard disk, or even onto CD-ROM, but no performance may be given without written permission. 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