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Dateline: 11th February, 2005
Acorn Antiques - the Gossip Columm Philip Fisher mingles with the in-corwd at the premiere of Victoria Wood's musical. The premiere of Acorn Antiques The Musical! at the Theatre Royal, Haymarket was in some ways more like the opening of a new British film. On arrival, your offended correspondent was jostled out of the way by paparazzi and autograph hunters eager to commune with the stars. This was a real Who's Who of an audience, featuring the cream of British TV and comedy both today and tracking back some years or, in many cases, decades. Without even trying, it was possible to rub shoulders with small screen legends and also some much-loved film stars. It goes without saying that on a gala night of this type the typical journalist in scruffy jeans and a T-shirt looked very much out of place. While there were not too many tiaras to be seen (there were one or two), suits were de rigeur and for the ladies, evening dress was fairly common. On reflection, that sounds like a contradiction in terms. In an effort to appeal to our more populist readership - or possibly even to attract one! - it is worth naming a few names. The press contingent was led by a couple of media personalities who do not always make it to the Finborough or the Old Red Lion. Michael Portillo has been writing for the New Statesman and Society for some time now but having to double up theatre criticism with a job in Parliament cannot be easy so he only makes the big occasion. Similarly, Simon Jenkins has a variety of different roles of which writing on theatre is by no means the most important. The chance to see Acorn Antiques clearly proved irresistible for this pair and knowing that they would be an audience that included so many stars of the entertainment world must have tipped the balance. Cilla Black, Esther Rantzen and Maureen Lipman led the ladies, all inevitably looking gorgeous, if also rather shorter than their small-screen appearances would have indicated. The men were perhaps more of a mixed bunch with Sir Trevor Nunn inevitably rushing around dementedly but luvvyly, if there is such a word, as befits the distinguished former director of both the Royal National Theatre and the Royal Shakespeare Company at the birth of his latest offspring. He must be wondering if this will prove to be another Cats and provide for any even better retirement. Jim Broadbent has come a long way from the National Theatre of Brent and on entry, was accosted by an autograph-demanding Yorkshireman who pointed out that he was practically related to Little Voice. In view of what Broadbent's character did to that young lady, this might have been a tactical error. Roy Hudd looked on good form, having been freed for the night by the closure of Solid Gold Cadillac after a gratifyingly long run. Richard Wilson, who probably knows the inside of the theatre better than any of his colleagues as an associate director of the Royal Court, was also enjoying himself, as were Matthew Kelly and Rodney Bewes. The younger generation was led by Graham Norton and sad to say, followed by a large number of beautiful people unknown to a theatre critic. It was also rather hard for one person to cruise the whole of a 900 seat theatre in a single interval and there will inevitably be many more superstars who have failed to make it into this column. The big question is - were Charlie and Cammy really there celebrating their engagement? You will have to wait a day or two to find out. The colour mags on Saturday and Sunday should fill in the gaps, as well as providing the thousands of photos that you will all now be demanding. Please note that all three Archive indices are very long and will therefore take some time to download.
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