In the third set of awards by Arts Council England, £75 million from its share of the Culture Recovery Fund has been allotted to thirty-five theatres, museums and historic venues.

Each of the thirty-five is offered a grant of between £1 and £3 million which, the Arts Council says, "will protect some of the nation’s most beloved stages".

Since there are only thirty-five recipients, a top twenty only serves to distort further what averages and other formulas already do, so the complete list is here from highest to lowest award.

Organisation Award £ Organisation Award £
Birmingham Hippodrome Theatre Trust £3,000,000 Theatre Royal (Plymouth) Ltd £1,896,000
English National Ballet £3,000,000 Birmingham Museums Trust £1,872,750
Newcastle Theatre Royal Trust £3,000,000 Ironbridge Gorge Museum Trust £1,860,000
Norwich Theatre £3,000,000 North Music Trust (Sage Gateshead) £1,800,000
Shakespeare Birthplace Trust £3,000,000 London Transport Museum £1,750,000
The Mayflower Theatre Trust £3,000,000 Adlib Audio Limited £1,650,356
The Old Vic Theatre Trust 2000 £3,000,000 Hull City Council £1,615,725
Shakespeare's Globe £2,985,707 Leeds Grand Theatre & Opera House Ltd £1,545,163
Sadler's Wells £2,975,000 Bill Kenwright Limited £1,526,028
The ACC Liverpool Group Limited £2,972,659 Fabric Life Ltd £1,514,262
Design Museum £2,968,634 Birmingham Repertory Theatre £1,380,023
Royal Exchange Theatre Company Ltd £2,854,444 Dulwich Picture Gallery £1,357,823
Black Country Living Museum Trust £2,559,805 Rambert £1,283,835
Performances Birmingham Limited £2,534,675 Wolverhampton Grand Theatre 1982 LTD £1,187,530
BH Live £2,499,531 Exchange Events Ltd (Gandey Productions) £1,092,503
Leeds Theatre Trust Limited (Playhouse) £2,381,547 Lights Control Rigging Productions Ltd £1,076,179
Sheffield Theatres Trust Ltd £2,246,000 The Octagon Theatre Trust £620,232
Northampton Theatres Trust (Royal & Derngate) £2,112,891 Total £75,119,302

The eagle-eyed will notice that The Octagon Theatre Trust's award of £1 to £3 million is something of a short pint at £620,232; perhaps the £1 to £3 million range refers to the organisations' applications, and many have received less than they need or asked for. If anyone knows, do please be in touch. In any event, I expect the good burghers of The Octagon are relieved to have sight of some funds.

Similarly, film-goers and book lovers will notice that no awards were made in this round under the category Film or Literature.

This £75 million allocation brings the total awarded by the Arts Council to £409 million which, by way of reminder, is from a £825 million pot of Culture Recovery Fund money which amounts of £1.57 billion.

The figures all look rather huge but it is well-established that it is not enough and many will feel nauseous reading Culture Secretary Oliver Dowden's self-congratulatory words:

“As part of our unprecedented £1.57 billion rescue fund, today we're saving British cultural icons with large grants of up to £3 million—from Shakespeare's Globe to the Sheffield Crucible. These places and organisations are irreplaceable parts of our heritage and what make us the cultural superpower we are. This vital funding will secure their future and protect jobs right away."

If Mr Dowden believes his own publicity then he will be strutting around the house, or even the House, sporting a cape and wearing his pants on the outside of his trousers.

There is £425 million still unallocated of which £270 million is earmarked for loans, leaving £155 million.

A second round of grants over £1 million and those receiving loans are to be announced "in the coming weeks".