As I Am Naturally is an intensely personal piece of work, so one is very sensitive about the possibility of misinterpretation. At one point, performer and author Tania Camara ties a sash around her waist, and I have no idea if this is culturally significant, symbolic, or just intended to look good. Director Peader Kirk moves the performance from a somewhat obscure opening to a powerful climax which, if not celebratory, is certainly defiant.
There are contradictions in As I Am Naturally. The music is performed live by John Haycock, but the vocals are a combination of live and recorded. The opening is meditative, performer and author Tania Camara uses sand to sketch a ritualised pattern, possibly a heart shape, on the stage floor while a smoothing, recorded voice reminds the audience to breathe in and out. It is reminiscent of the part of Pilates class where you lie in corpse pose as the instructor talks you through relaxing your muscles. Have to be careful, as that is the part of the class when I usually fall asleep.
As I Am Naturally is divided into chapters with, it gradually becomes clear, a common theme of memory and a much darker subject. We remember, remarks Tania Camara, through dance and games. It later becomes apparent we may also use those tools to combat trauma.
As the lady said, recollections may vary, and Camara admits the past was not as innocent as she would like to pretend. Bike, a sweet recollection of childhood fear of parental displeasure at a late arrival combined with the simple joy of riding a bicycle, leads the way into much darker memories.
The major theme of As I Am Naturally is childhood sexual abuse as becomes clear with Tania Camara remarking, "I feel his eyes on me." The abuse is presented in a stark manner as Camara claims to be incapable of remembering the event but, having been a very mobile performer, suddenly stands dead still in silence for what seems like ages, absorbing the trauma. The shared experiences of abuse survivors, female and male, are played vocally or displayed as surtitles, including the grim advice that reporting the abuse often results in the victim, rather than the abuser, being blamed. Small wonder the survivors prefer to simply become unseen.
Having confronted her demons, Camara takes her own advice and turns to dance for relief. The traditional music and dance style Batuku is based upon performers slapping out a rhythm. Initially, Camara, accompanied by John Haycock, takes a basic approach, slapping her own limbs to build the rhythm, but is eventually joined by the Batuku Group Creolas de Salford, who fill the stage and create a thunderous conclusion to exorcise the bitter memories of abuse and demonstrate a defiant refusal to be judged by other people.
As I Am Naturally combines personal and universal experiences to challenge the perception of, and find a degree of relief from, a hideous crime and sounds wonderful.