I Bought A Flip Phone

Panos Kandunias
Panos Kandunias
HOME, Manchester

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I Bought A Flip Phone
I Bought A Flip Phone
I Bought A Flip Phone
I Bought A Flip Phone

The title I Bought A Flip Phone seems to promise people who do not own smartphones (like me) the delightful opportunity to feel morally and intellectually superior to those who persist in using the demonic devices despite objective scientific research proving the habit will result in them ending up resembling Gollum but without his sex appeal. The promise is not fulfilled, but I still feel smug.

Charlie (author, producer, sole performer and—one assumes—director Panos Kandunias) is approaching his 27th birthday and has gifted himself a flip phone. He is effusive, listing and demonstrating the ways in which he has used the time freed up from no longer spending hours on the Internet or scrolling through song options. But despite his upbeat attitude, Charlie remains unsatisfied, suggesting resolving his problems may require more than a change of phone.

Charlie is very much a character of the 21st century. He acknowledges his flip phone may be perceived as archaic and an object of derision and never uses cash, not even to buy drugs. While addressing the audience, he is constantly distracted, rudely breaking off his monologue to check his phone messages as if hoping they might offer a more interesting option. Charlie regards e-mails, which allow greater space for expression of emotions than text messages, as the equivalent of romantic Jane Austen novels. He recounts with amazement the warm sensation of having a spontaneous romantic encounter in person rather than arranged coldly via a dating app.

During the monologue, Charlie reassures the audience the play is not about someone having a quarter-life crisis. He is fibbing, as that is exactly what it is, but the subject is skilfully concealed under witty if somewhat self-obsessed dialogue. Mobile phones are used by Kandunias as examples of unnecessary baggage; he constantly refers to, and acts out, scenes in movies where characters achieve liberation by dumping the devices.

The journey towards identifying the root cause of Charlie’s unhappiness, possible depression, meanders through recollections of the homophobic taunt which blighted his childhood love of football or of sexual encounters which are so over-the-top he wonders if a camera crew is filming. Charlie frets about his inability to make a connection with other people, acknowledging he has never really discussed the problems his single mother faced during his childhood. The impression is that of a character who erected emotional defences early in life which he now finds hard to dismantle.

Although a monologue, I Bought A Flip Phone is far from static. Charlie does not hesitate to display the dance skills he has honed during the free time he now has available. The direct interaction with the audience is not always successful as Kandunias speaks rapidly, so when he asks a question, you might still be mentally processing the previous speech and be slow to respond.

I Bought A Flip Phone is leisurely rather than dramatic; there is little sense of momentum moving towards a climax. But the conclusion is all the more moving by being intimate and low-key and brings a genuine sense Charlie may be ready to move forward.

Reviewer: David Cunningham

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